started self harming

suffering regular flashbacks of my abusive past

feeling isolated by my friends

wish my ex was here because he understands how i feel but i dont want to turn to him for help because he has moved on

my current boyfriend is amazing but so clueless as to what i need or want even though i try to reach out

half my family currently hate me because im the only rational person accepting that my grandma is terminally sick whilst they just call me negative and draining

nobody in my life at this moment understands how bad things are in my head so im just misunderstood for being a pessimist when im genuinely crumbling and all people expect from me is to pretend to be happy to cheer up and help everyone else

but nobody is helping me